When someone tells us that they know how we feel; they are lying to us. Pain is subjective since we all have different levels of resistance to pain. I can never tell, how you would feel during a difficult time but I can share with you what helped me survive tragedies in my life.
This article is about accepting and embracing our fate. The key to staying sane in difficult times is experiencing the fall and accepting the pain, for example, if you have ever been on a rollercoaster ride, where you first go up and then go down, so while going up, you experience the fear and anxiety of the fall and when you are falling, you absorb that moment of arousal. You enjoy it because it makes your heart race, it makes you feel uncomfortable, or shall I say- it makes you feel alive!
A few years back while I was in flight from Kolkata to Delhi, on a stormy Monsoon night, I experienced the worst turbulence ever. That was the only time in my 16 years of flying almost every week experience that I felt we won't make it. As they say, my entire life flashed in front of me, everybody was panicking and holding the seats as the plane rocked on the winds and clouds with flashes of lightning ready to burn us alive. I saw people praying, crying, and even shouting. Right at that moment, I saw this beautiful four or five-year-old Mishti from Kolkata, she was standing on the seat, looking back at us and laughing and enjoying every moment of this commotion as if she was on a joyride! As if we were all idiots and she was a Budha smiling at us and telling us that we can't control our fate and we should let go of the fears of letting go!
It made me think, how seriously we take life and how we are losing the excitement of being alive and present at this moment. How we are losing this beautiful moment that will never come back to us.
There are three phrases that have helped me accept my fate and live life without anxiety and stress. They are:
Let us understand these phrases better:
Amor fati is a Latin phrase that may be translated as "love of fate" or "love of one's fate". It is used to describe an attitude in which one sees everything that happens in one's life, including suffering and loss, as good or, at the very least, necessary. So I keep reminding myself of all the blessings and positive aspects of my life at this moment. by keeping the focus on the blessings and positive aspects of my life, there is always something to look forward to in life and it reminds us, life is still kind to us.
Memento Homo: "Remember you are dust" was a way for the great Roman General to keep his mortality and humanity in mind in the face of his great achievements. The thought that I might lose my status in society, property or any other belonging is bound to give a lot of stress and anxiety. The more I try to cling on or control, the more painful is the experience of possessing something. So I keep reminding myself that I am dust and nothing more, soon I will be gone like my father and his father nobody would care even my children will forget me after a while and move on in their lives.
Memento mori is a Latin phrase meaning 'remember you must die'. I keep reminding myself that I will be dead soon and the time I have is limited, what I do with this time is very important. I have a choice to either love or hate; take revenge or forgive; cry or laugh; be anxious or relax; worry or enjoy; live in the future or present and I choose to love, forgive, laugh, relax and enjoy by living in the present moment and not in the future. I also do not want to carry the burden of regret, failure, and guilt its too heavy to carry and drains all my energy to do something meaningful.
At last, I request you to let go of what is not in your control like your future, your past, and your circumstances; only focus on what is in your control and that is how you want to feel about your life and who you are today. When you will feel great and happy people around you will also feel great.
So go ahead start living your life before you lose it!
I wish you all a safe and blessed life!