What is Helicopter Parenting?
So you really love your kids and do not want them to get hurt. To what extent will you go to save them from getting hurt. It is totally natural to be concerned about your child however it gets a little weird when you start hovering above them, taking all their decisions for them and just keep it really safe for them, this is also known as Helicopter Parenting.
According to a study done by the American Psychological Association:
“Children with helicopter parents may be less able to deal with the challenging demands of growing up, especially with navigating the complex school environment,” said Nicole B. Perry, Ph.D., from the University of Minnesota, and lead author of the study. “Children who cannot regulate their emotions and behavior effectively are more likely to act out in the classroom, to have a harder time making friends, and to struggle in school.”
“Helicopter parenting behavior we saw included parents constantly guiding their child by telling him or her what to play with, how to play with a toy, how to clean up after playtime and being too strict or demanding,” said Perry. “The kids reacted in a variety of ways. Some became defiant, others were apathetic and some showed frustration.”
Perry suggested that parents can help their children learn to control their emotions and behavior by talking with them about how to understand their feelings and by explaining what behaviors may result from feeling certain emotions, as well as the consequences of different responses.
Then parents can help their children identify positive coping strategies, like deep breathing, listening to music, coloring, or retreating to a quiet space.
“Parents can also set good examples for their children by using positive coping strategies to manage their own emotions and behavior when upset,” said Perry.
You might be Helicopter Parent if:
You only let your child play on playgrounds with grass under an adult's supervision.
You sort out your child's fights at school and with friends at home, by talking to parents of the friends or the friends
You have found yourself up at 11 pm rewriting your child’s English homework because you know that they could have done a better job if they hadn’t been so tired.
Your 8 year old still has the training wheels on his bike. Not that you let him ride it that often. The sidewalks are dangerous and they go too fast for you to keep up!
You carry your 8-year old's school bag to the bus stop and carry it back.
You never let your child go on a trip with their class.
Having them help out by preparing dinner or cleaning the house has never crossed your mind. Knives are sharp and the cleaning fluids are too dangerous!
You have installed a webcam in your child's room and lounge and balcony so you could watch the daily happenings while you are at work.
You and your son are having a meeting with the teacher and when she asks him a question you answer it for him.
Your child didn’t get accepted to the School Annual Event so you call the teacher or Principal to negotiate for an exception.
You do all the shopping for clothes and you have to tell them which colors and types of clothes are best for them
You have laid down the Room Rules for your 13-year-old and keep monitoring, any deviations lead to correction and reinforcement of the importance of following rules
If you have been doing these then it is time to get your Helicopter Grounded!
How to stop Hovering?
Find out what your child can and cannot do.
Start adding those tasks into the child's responsibility areas
Give them the freedom to fail and do a not so good job
Let the child resolve his or her own conflicts with friends at school or home
Let your child take some risks
Let your child make decisions and take the accountability of those decisions
Give them the freedom and space, leave their room alone
Have regular conversations on life and share what's been happening in your life?
Let us raise confident and competent children who are also accountable for their actions.
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